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Pitru Worship
We have somehow developed this old tradition of worshipping dead people,
dead things. The living father of the family rarely has as much respect
as after his death - the way in which his tarpana and his annual
shraddhas are performed. When he is alive, the son cares very
little. When he is dead, because it is a matter of show, a matter of
selfishness that if I don't do this, something may happen; if I do it,
I may get good. Therefore they do it with a certain degree of fervour.
They don't care about spending some money, but when the father is alive
and he asks for two rupees worth of something to eat, generally the
son gets angry. "You are always asking for this and that! You are
old. Eat what is given to you. What has Babuji said? "Eat what
is put before you with love" - one of the maxims comes in very
handy! So we must recognise - I mean, all of you laugh because it is
the only way of relieving inner tension. We all know we have passed
through this phase. Some have passed through it fortunately. Many are
still in the quagmire of stupidity and selfishness out of it, because
if you stay in that, what you call quicksand of ignorance and superstition,
you can only sink down. There is no redemption.
It is a common experience of all of us, miserable human beings, that
we love our parents more after they are dead. While they are alive,
they are nuisances to us. They trouble us with their demands for discipline,
for performance. And when they die, we work off our self-felt, self-created
guilty feelings by expensive shraddhas, expensive ceremonies,
putting up big pictures on the walls. Why is it that we have to love
the dead and not the living? I mean, this is a very sordid bit of human
existence, that somebody has to die before they earn our love. What
is the use of weeping for the dead? Shall we not weep for the living?
So you see, instead of spending thousands of rupees on a dead person's
cremation, and his shraddhas year after year and the tarpana
every amavasya (new moon day) day, if you have loved them well,
cherished them well during their existence, all this ritualistic expiation
of our inability to love becomes unnecessary. Love the living; it's
no use loving the dead.
Fathers die, mothers die, and we put their pictures at home and with
great devotion we put a garland and light a lamp. According to my Master,
this is the most destructive thing that we can do which holds back these
souls from their own progress in the after-life. What should we do with
the dead? First of course we bury them or cremate them; that is physical
disposal. As far as the mind is concerned, love them and forget them.
When you remember, pray to the Master, 'May that soul receive peace.'
That is enough.
If you want to remember them on the day of their departure, try to
forget it, you will remember them better. If memory comes, sit in meditation
for ten minutes or fifteen minutes. Pray to the Master, "Almighty
Master! My departed father, mother, brother, sister - may your Grace
flow towards him or her. May he or she receive peace."
Babuji said, "Lalaji never did ritual worship. But I tell you
one thing. One Amavasya day (new moon day) I saw him performing
the tarpana. He was pouring water in the ritual fashion, offering
it to his forefathers in the higher world. I immediately adjusted myself
to see what he was offering to the higher world. I found that he was
transmitting the essence of the water he was offering to the higher
world. This is what should be done when offering bhog. Suppose
a person can transmit the essence of a thing, then it is useful to do
tarpana and all these things. Otherwise what is the use? It is a mere
ritual without any meaning or use. It is better to sit in meditation
and think of the departed souls. Surely they will benefit more by it.
And if he is a preceptor he should transmit with the idea that the transmission
will reach the soul wherever it may be."
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