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What Does Character Really Mean?
It is always nice to expect from others that things should be
done for us. But I keep recollecting the old advice, "Do unto
others as you would be done by, and charity begins at home."
I think these two precepts are fundamental to our character formation.
There is a general widespread misunderstanding that a good character
means abstaining from drinking, smoking, womanising - the three cardinal
events. This is a very superficial understanding of character.
If you come down to these precepts, that do unto others as you would
be done by, we begin to behave towards others as we would like them
to behave with us. We will not hit a man below the belt because we don't
want to be hit below the belt ourselves. We will not rob the pocket
of another because we would not like our pocket to be picked. We would
not call others names because we don't want to be called names ourselves.
It teaches us in a more subtle way than just by giving instructions:
Always tell the truth.
Lalaji Maharaj and Babuji Maharaj have emphasised so much on character
formation. The beginning, the first step, I would say, is to treat others
as if they were you. Love them as much as you love yourself. Love first.
One who cannot love himself, cannot love others. This is not a joke,
it is the truth. All those who talk here about the inability to love
the Master, why love a Master, love a wife, love a husband, anything?
Love is love. The object may change. One who cannot love something,
cannot love anything else, precisely because they have not love for
the self. Like charity begins at home, be charitable to yourself, be
compassionate to yourself. Can you forgive yourself for a mistake that
you have made, or you castigating yourself, chastising yourself, feeling
miserable about it. Or are you able to say, "Forget it. You are
after all a human being. How dare you think that you are beyond the
mistakes?" Are you so perfect that you can say, "I will never
make a mistake?"
Therefore, our characters have to be strengthened progressively to
go on deeper and deeper. All this tradition of the amrita manthan
of the kshira sagar, so many things come out of it, including
the famous poison, and they had to tolerate it. It is not as if there
was some ocean of milk and they were churning it. It is our heart. We
have to churn it. This the Master does for us with his cleaning, with
his spiritual love for us, mercy for us, and we have to be able to tolerate
everything that comes.
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