Death Should Not Bring Us Sorrow

Our mental turmoil, and our feeling of anguish are because of the feeling that we are in this body in which we are now. We create the separateness. Now what can we do about that? You know, the thing which most upset me in the beginning of my life with Master, was that there were always abhyasis dying or sick, something like that, and it never visibly seemed to bother him. I used to think he was a heartless person. People would come weeping, even from his own locality, from his own village, and saying so and so died only two hours ago. He would only put on a long face and say, "It is very sad," nothing more than that. Now, I used to think, that on one side he has a heart which loves everything in the universe, but you never see a tear in the eyes of that old man. What is this contradiction? Then, I learnt the secret of it in meditation, you see. For him there is no death. We die, but for him there is no death. For whom is he to weep? It would be crazy to weep for somebody who is not dead. So, that is the mystery, you see.

We have to learn slowly, little by little, and then when our turn comes, we become like that and people accuse us of being heartless. So you have to wait until they learn the lesson, you see. A funny thing happened: you know, my father died; all my life I have been afraid of the time, when he will die. Because my mother died when I was five years old or five and a half years old and he was our support. All our life he brought us up, he trained us, he educated us and for me, it was a frightening thing to think of a time where I would have to live without him. Now, on the day he was going to die, I had a dream in the morning: I received a letter from him; on the front is my address, naturally. Now, I have a habit of turning the envelope round to see who it is from, though generally I know from the handwriting. When I turned it round, I found my father had written, "I may never see you again." This was at four o'clock in the morning and at twelve o'clock he passed away in Bangalore, I was in Madras and we of course had to go immediately to Bangalore, we all went there.

Now, I have always been afraid of dead bodies, or staying in a place where there is a dead body. It was some old primeval fear. But when I went there, and the body was there, laid out, I didn't even feel that it was my father or that he was dead. Nothing! We reached Bangalore at six in the evening. Now, normally I would not be able to sleep in that house. But I went to bed at nine and slept until six in the morning. It is most unusual. Normally I don't sleep so much. And next morning, the body was there, people were coming for condolence and I was sitting in a chair like this, perfectly happy. Now the question is, where was that fear of death which I had been nursing for sixty years? It disappeared. And for me it was a great revelation, you see, because it meant the Master is still working. So, these are things which we learn by experience, not by being taught. In fact, some people may have thought, "This son, he is sitting there, like a philosopher... Should there not be some emotion when the father dies?" But really, it should not be there because, where has he gone? He is still very much somewhere. Isn't it?

Now, suppose your son decides to migrate to Australia, he leaves you and maybe you don't see him for fifty years again. But we are not sorry about it. In death, what is the separation? It's the same thing. So, we make this artificial difference, this one is dead, this one is not dead. So that again it is a question of our human consciousness making us suffer or enjoy.

You know there is a funny thing. In most societies, we are happy when a child is born, and we weep when somebody dies. But there is one society where the opposite is done. They weep when a child is born, and celebrate when a man dies. That is a sensible attitude. A soul which was free, in bliss, and which had liberty, is suddenly imprisoned in a stupid human body here. Is it not a matter for grief? So they weep. And death is a liberation from this prison – they celebrate it. I think it's a very healthy attitude. Don't you think so? It doesn't matter which society or where! But the fact is there!

You see, if I say somebody made a million dollars by doing this business, you don't ask who. You say, "How can I do it quickly, tell me!" Here also we should do the same thing. Actually most of our grief, and most of our enjoyment, is conventional. The heart rarely participates. I think there must have been a time in the human evolution, when, without the cooperation of the heart, the tear glands would not work, but now we have mastered the art of shedding tears without the heart participating. I sincerely believe, you know, that to feel grief when somebody dies, you must have been extraordinarily related to that person.

Every one of us here has attended birthday parties, and also funerals. We are so comfortable with a birthday party, but few people feel easy, or at ease, when going for a funeral, or for a condolence. They are thinking of what to say, how to say it! Is it right to smile? Should I shake hands or not? Why all these inhibitions? Because we are going to play a part, and we want to make sure we play it well. I mean it's total hypocrisy, all this business of condolences and funerals. In birthday parties there is no part to play, you see. Happiness is so easy to emulate. That is why there is this old saying in English, "Laugh, and the world laughs with you; weep, and you weep alone." It is not easy to feel grief! We must go beyond it. We must develop spiritually, and then see the changes in ourselves.

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