I have only one advice for people who take up work, any work: we have to be extraordinarily patient. Everything that we expect in others, we must have first. We want people to be patient, we must be more patient…….

…. I can say the patience has to be limitless. In fact, patience means limitless.
Can you say, "I will be patient for five minutes and then no more?" It is like a person saying, "I will be honest for one year and then I will not be honest." See, in the West you think these are qualities or aspects of behaviour; politeness, courtesy, they are supposed to be behavioural aspects of the human being. But in the East we believe it is a reflection of the culture, and therefore it must come from inside. In fact, it is a reflection of character. So it cannot depend on external circumstances.

So, we have to be what we have to be irrespective of what others are. It is no use being patient with good people and then becoming impatient with impatient people. Or honest with the honest people and dishonest with dishonest people. We must remember, like water is water to the criminal, to the saint, the rose is a rose to everyone, it cannot be a rose in the hands of a saint, and jasmine in the hands of a woman, and a stone in the hands of a sinner. So when we have developed our character through spiritual practice with the Master's help, we must become constant in our behaviour. It cannot change according to circumstance. It cannot change according to situations. That is why character must be at the highest level of development, a shining out of your inner light. ……. The more the problems outside, the stronger we must become. The more abusive the other people become, the more patient we have to become.

So, this is the first strength that we have to build. And the first rule is: don't expect anything from anybody else except yourself. ….

So this constancy of behaviour, of attitude towards the external world, we must not be like the light of a candle which is blown out by every puff of breeze. We must be like the sun. It tries to devour itself, but it cannot do it. It is burning itself every second. It is said that each second something like 50 or 500 million tons of itself it is consuming, and yet it will be there for millions of years. This is the secret, you see. ……… the sun exists on itself. So when we learn to exist on ourselves, which means not depending on others, ….then we become a permanent source of illumination to others which cannot be shaken by any force of nature, and it also becomes eternal.

So this is the secret of spiritual life, that we must be strong because we must be strong. Nothing to do with others. Not to expect anything from others. Which only means, I must expect the best from myself. Because that is the only way to become the best. And we should use opportunities as a testing stone for ourselves. And use it to correct ourselves. Use it for our self-development. …… So, this quality of inner rock-like steadiness we have to develop, and that can come only when we have tolerance for others.….

We must use these episodes, these situations, as a mirror for ourselves and correct ourselves. Then this grand possibility comes that every time somebody is angry, you become more tolerant. Every time somebody is rude you become stronger in your own faith about yourself. And we must be able to take abuse with a smile.

Source: Heart to Heart, Volume. 2, p. 299, P. Rajagopalachari, 1991, Shri Ram Chandra Mission USA

Q: Can you think of examples in your own life where you could have demonstrated tolerance and patience instead of reacting negatively to another person or situation? How would you respond to those situations now?

Q: What do you think Chariji means by saying that we should use all situations that happen to us as a mirror for ourselves, and correct ourselves? Think of examples in your own life.

Q: How does Chariji's advice relate to:
Maxim Four: "Be plain and simple to be identical with Nature."
Maxim Five: "Be truthful. Take miseries as divine blessings for your own good and be thankful."
Maxim Six: "Know all people as thy brethren and treat them as such."
Maxim Seven: "Be not revengeful for the wrongs done by others. Take them with gratitude as heavenly gifts."
Maxim Nine: "Mould your living so as to arouse a feeling of love and piety in others" ?

O, Master!
Thou art the real goal of human life.
We are yet but slaves of wishes
Putting bar to our advancement,
Thou art the only God and power
To bring us up to that stage.