Peni Moore, Fiji
I live in Fiji, a small island in the Pacific Ocean. This place has a history of political instability and growing poverty. For the last twenty years, I have been involved in the women's movement and am now the creative director of a women's organization called Women's Action for Change. I also work with the most marginalized communities, which include men and women prisoners, sexual minorities, sex workers, and women and children living in informal settlements. I work towards developing peace and providing conflict transformation skills. I provide information on a wide variety of subjects through community and also improvised theatre such as playback and forum.
Several of my colleagues and friends were taken by surprise when I began practising Sahaj Marg meditation. They wondered how could a radical ‘feminist’ like me accept a spiritual Master. While I always had a spiritual bent of mind, I was never a religious person in the conventional sense of the term. So it was tough for people to understand my comfort with Sahaj Marg practice. But I saw Master as a pure soul. Who would not love and admire a person of such calibre?
I used to be a very angry person. Often I have used my anger to fight injustice and bring about social change. Soon I realized that however justified, the rage against wrongdoers also impacted me negatively, leaving me tired and depressed. Often a feeling of hopelessness enveloped me. I felt unloved. On many occasions, my family had to endure my tantrums and frustration. Many a time I would return home from work tired. And when my children would approach me with their problems, I would find myself getting irritated with them. Now, I listen to them patiently, doing whatever I can. I just accept that I cannot do everything at once.
From the time I began meditating I have noticed major changes in myself. Now I am able to handle problems in a very different way. My anger is not all consuming and I find that I am able to listen to opposing viewpoints patiently. My work with youngsters involves conflict transformation, self-esteem development and self-discipline. I try to heal the pain that life has given them. These days I do this with a feeling of love and I find my work to be much more positive in its outcomes. Love is the most growing thing.
I feel very lucky that I am working in an area where I can put to use the philosophy of Sahaj Marg. Many times when I begin my work with community or students, I ask for my Master’s guidance. I pray that he fills the room or space with love and gives me the ability to utilize the time in the best possible manner. The case is the same when I have to give a lecture. Last year I was involved in a political process that required me to speak out often against a majority who thought very differently from me. It was with the support of Master that I was able to speak without anger and therefore be heard and have my ideas accepted.
My family life is full of love. One aspect of being an abhyasi that often makes me smile as I run frantically from one project to another, is that as I take time to meditate I am actually doing more work than ever before. When my management collective saw the amount of work we did last year they could not get over it. We had managed to do three times the work that any other group could do, and the results were so positive it just enabled more growth.
Sahaj Marg has enabled me to work more effectively, to work with love and not with hate or anger. I am aware that no matter what or where I am, I am never alone. Master is there to guide me, if I have the ability to listen and acknowledge. But it is important to understand that personal change and development is a lifelong journey. The journey begins to make much more sense when we have an all encompassing Master like Chariji. We also have to acknowledge our faults as well as our attributes. But I believe if we all try to become pure souls like my Master, the world will become a better place.
