(From Autobiography of Ram Chandra)
Early Life
I was born on Sunday the 30th April, 1899 at 07:26 in the morning (Vikram Samvat 1856, Saka era 1821, Baisakh Badi Panchami, samay 4 gharhi 55 Pal).
My father was Rai Bahadur Sri Badri Prasad, Honorary Special Magistrate I Class. My mother told me that during childhood I did not have the inclination to eat food as children generally have. I would not eat by myself, even when served food, unless someone else put it into my mouth. At every stage of my life my mother taught me the lesson "Be honest; do not steal". The effect of her training was that this became part and parcel of my living.
Up to the time a baby begins to speak or think, the suggestions of its parents and others affect the character that just begins to form, and the suggestions become part of the young one's life. The child `becomes' the meaning of the suggestions. When he reaches boyhood the suggestions of the parents and other persons continue to work a good deal. Since thinking starts from this age, he begins to form himself, and his surroundings also affect him at this age. Further on, he becomes like a coiled-up rope, of which the coil remains undisturbed, even if burnt. Parents should have sufficient regard for this aspect of childhood life and should see that only what is right is spoken to the children. A baby can also take the impression of the words spoken by its parents, even though it has not developed thinking or understanding. As such, one must be very cautious in speaking even before babies. One must not utter any non-sense before children. The example of Abhimanyu of Mahabharat is well known. Arjuna had described to his wife the way of breaking into a "Chakra-Vyooha" when Abhimanyu was in her womb. Abhimanyu was about sixteen years of age when the Mahabharat War started. He told his uncles that he could break into the "Chakra-Vyooha", and so got in, but he could not return, for Arjuna had not spoken to his wife about how to get out of it.
I am giving you another example of my own in this matter. After some time when I started meditation, I one day found myself as a baby of 2 or 3 months lying on a "Soop", the plaited implement used for husking grain, under the rays of the sun. I thought this over and concluded that I must have been laid on the "Soop" by my mother. On enquiry my mother confirmed it, and said that she had done so several times.
During my childhood (at about the age of 6 or 7) I often saw my mother performing traditional worship. I requested her to teach me the "Puja" (worship) she was doing. She used to apply sandalwood paste on my forehead and I felt happy in the thought that I had done "puja" that day. This went on for some time.
From the age of 9 I felt a kind of thirst for Reality and I remained confused and perplexed just like a man drowned in water. I then started reading the "Bhagvad Gita" but it did not bring to my view the condition I was craving for.
I asked my priest to prescribe the method of worship which would give me Realization. He told me to recite "Rama Rama". I did this also for seven days at the fixed hours, but I could find no change in my condition. Afterwards I tried idol worship. I noticed that it was dragging me back instead of taking me forward and I was compelled to give it up too.
These things could not quench my thirst. This period of confusion went on till the age of 14. I was praying all the time for a good and capable master and decided that if I went at all with this idea to anyone I would definitely accept him as my Master.
At about the same age I developed a peculiar instinct by which I was able to recognize my clothes by smell. This developed to the extent that at the age of 14 I could know the character of a man by the smell of his perspiration.
Sometime later, I became interested in philosophy and began to think out the problems in my own way. It was at the age of 15 or 16 that I wanted to read philosophical books. I ordered Mill's "Utilitarianism" and went through a few pages of the book. A thought arose in my mind that if I studied such books I would write their thoughts as quotations, and originality would be lost. I closed the book and put it aside, and developed my own thinking. From my very childhood whoever saw me, whether he was a relative or a public man, thought me to be a dunce. I had a very unassuming nature and it is still there, but the phase is changed. Now people think me to be a simple man.
At the age of six I started studying under a tutor. A year later, I contracted typhoid and took about a year to recover. During the interval of illness I forgot all I had read up to that time and it is still surprising to me how it happened that I forgot every thing and my mind was like a clean slate.
My school life was dotted with failures, the chief cause being mathematics. I spoiled my whole career. My tutor used to give me some home work. The questions in arithmetic I always procrastinated. I now give a ridiculous story about myself. Once it happened that I did not solve the questions. I began to think, "Now I shall be beaten by the teacher because I have not worked out the questions." In order to avoid the beating, I put my finger in a hole in the wall where there was a wasp-hive, to get stung by the wasps. When the tutor came, I told him that I could not solve the questions because wasps had stung me. I was saved from punishment but, I tell you, the beating of the teacher would not have been so troublesome as the sting of the wasp was. When I reached the age of 16, love for literature English, Urdu and Persian developed. Geography was my hobby and I read volumes on that subject. Really speaking, up to that age I was not at all interested in reading.
In all my work honesty is paramount. Once I found a rupee in the school compound. I handed it over to the headmaster to give it to the person who had lost it. He was elated with joy and sent out a slip to all the classes, praising my honesty. During my school days I used to go to the school riding a horse which my father had purchased for me. I practiced riding even without a "syce" (groom).
During this period of education a mesmerist friend of mine used to treat people for diseases. I felt interested, and began to think of the basic point which the mesmerists develop. I came to know that it is nothing but concentration and the movement of energy for some work, pregnant with thought. Some time later, a relation of mine came to me and told me he was also a mesmerist. I requested him to teach me the art. But he was not going to teach me so easily unless the old ways of service to him were adopted by me. I told him, "When you come next, I will teach you mesmerism without doing any practice." Since my brain had become philosophical and correctness was also there, with its help I started curing patients, but not on any large scale. When that relation of mine came again, I told him, "What I can do you cannot; test me if you wish."
It happened once during my school days that my headmaster suffered from severe colic pain. I caught hold of his thumbs with my hands, putting my thumbs on his, and passed "electricity" for a minute with the suggestion, "you are alright now." Immediately the pain ceased and the patient went to sleep. From then on, if any boy got hurt in games he would be sent to me for healing.
I was a good hockey player and was captain of the class team. Once at school during a leisure period the headmaster refused to issue games equipment, and I gave up games for good.
It was my good luck that during my schooling, the teachers used to love me very much, and always extended their hands to help me whenever required. Since I was interested in philosophy I used to write essays about philosophical matters. Dynamics of the mind was a characteristic of the essays. My English teacher was also a philosopher, and he was surprised how I could write such philosophical thoughts which he had read in his B.A. Class. This thinking has helped me much in taking up research work in Yoga in my present spiritual career.
I have given the results of the research work in books, articles and letters. At Sitapur there was a good gathering and I suggested that the saints of India should take up research in Yoga, which has not so far been done. Research work is not very difficult but people find it difficult. The first criterion is that the worker must be a Yogi of high caliber, with full experience and knowledge of all the super-conscious states. The thinking should be correct. Even if you think only a little that must be correct and the signal of the heart should verify it. People do not care to find out what the Divine instruments for the work are. Mind thinks and heart gives signals for its correctness. The heart gives signals of different nature. To understand them is rather difficult. So far I could not find words to express this thing satisfactorily. But if a man practices he will `know' the nature of it. It has come to my experience that every living organ of the body itself speaks when you concentrate over it. Concentration is one of the instruments for revelation only. You cannot `get' God by concentration. In concentration you are one-pointed to a certain object, while in mediation your sub-conscious only waits for something. Since your thought is for the Divine, you wait for Divinity.
Some persons say that conscience is their Guru and they follow it. Conscience is made of "Manas" or mind, "Buddhi" or intellect, "Chitta" or consciousness, and "ahamkar" or egoism. Unless all these are purified and come into balance, conscience cannot give the True Voice. So purity is needed in all the faculties of the mind. People may try to do research work on this. I am telling you something very good. Suppose you are thinking something out for a solution and you know a little, but correct, at that time. Keep that idea in the sub-conscious mind and the problem will come solved. You can have the verification after solving it. Meditate at the point where the True Picture of Reality is seen and your heart will be thoroughly satisfied.
I predicted some things during my boyhood and they came true. For the interest of the readers, I tell how a man can predict the things to come after hundreds of years. In the left part of the head there is a super-conscious state which gives answers to every question. I had discussed this in my book "Efficacy of Raj Yoga in the light of Sahaj Marg". Anyone who thinks about coming events directing his thoughts to that spot will "know". The thinking should be without any pressure of the will, and in a natural way. If he applies pressure the effort becomes unnatural, and the result is grossness. This method should be adopted very calmly. Piety is also needed for this method.
Adult Life and Employment
I was married at Mathura at the age of 19 and I got a short-tempered wife. Her name was Bhagwati. She died in the latter-half of 1949. I was also very short-tempered at that time. But I learned tolerance in her company. That helped me in my spiritual pursuit also. When I went to the feet of the Master, my rage began to fade away. I complained to him many times about it in my diary. After some time He asked me a question whether, in my angry mood, senses are lost. I said, "Not at all." He confirmed that senses were not lost. Thereafter, even in rage, I behave properly.
Now I am telling the secret of success in all matters. Remove doubts and develop confidence in yourself, you will succeed in all your pursuits. Really speaking, if anybody wants to poison his will he should create doubt in himself. Honesty and seriousness in all work brings good fruit. I left all these things as useless and started deep breathing exercise which used to keep my mind very calm. I could hold my breath for seven and a half minutes. I practiced it for about six years, and gave it up altogether when I reached the Feet of my Master.
Somehow I came to know that there was a good guide Samarth Guru Mahatma Shri Ram Chandra Ji Maharaj at Fatehgarh (U.P.). I was tempted to go there as soon as possible. One fine morning the 3rd of June 1922 I reached the feet of the Master. When I sat in meditation, as I was directed to, I found a condition highly convincing to me. Immediately the thought arose, "I have found the Master." My decision mentioned earlier compelled me to take Him as my own Master. After coming back from my Master I continued the practice, but not so deeply as I had to appear in the Matric and S.S.L.C. examination. After passing the examination, I took up service in the Judge's Court at Shahjahanpur on the 12th of January 1925, and retired as Record Keeper in 1956. My Master, who served in the Collectorate of Fatehgarh, also retired as Record Keeper. The officers under whom I served were very happy with my work. My general behavior with my fellow clerks was extraordinarily good.
In my life I always placed justice higher that self advantage. For instance, a colleague of mine had joined service a couple of days earlier than I. In the following years we were transferred to different sections, and later were re-posted to positions with the same designation and grade. It happened that my colleague joined this new posting a couple of days later than I did, thus officially becoming my junior. When a vacancy for the next promotion arose, my colleague appealed that he should get the promotion on the ground of original date of his appointment. My officers, who were more favorably disposed towards me, summoned me in this connection. Even though it was a tempting occasion for substantial personal benefit, I told them the fact that my colleague was the senior, though he had joined the present post later, and that he should be given the promotion. He got it, and developed a great regard for me.
If I fell into any official difficulty, every one from the lowest to the highest would sympathies with me. Not only that, my officers also were very helpful. The officers used to trust me so much that whatever draft or order I prepared was signed without any hesitation. I also took care to draft orders faithfully and carefully.
It so happened that a clerk, on account of caste prejudice, teased me so much that I made up my mind to resign service. I had been appointed to this post for the first time, and did not know the work. He did not help me at all; instead, he always spoke ill of me to the Munsarim of the Munsif's Court. The result was that I went to the Munsif and told him all the facts including my intention to resign from service.
Mr. Maharaja Bahadur, the Munsif, said, "As long as I am here you must not resign. I will teach you the work, because I will not get such an honest man." And he did so. When I was encouraged by him I began to study the Acts and Regulations, and learnt some other work also. Honesty pays in the end; and dishonesty only in the beginning, if at all.
In a month's time, with hard work, I was quite prepared to do the work allotted to me nicely. I had also told the difficulties to my father and said to him, "I want to resign from this post and if you will not allow it I will commit suicide." My father replied, "Leave the service immediately." But I continued in the service as I was encouraged to by my officer. I had no enmity with that man and never changed my behavior towards him. In other words, I behaved with a little love also with him. People call me simple. I think they are right in so calling me. The incident developed to such an extent that I was ready to commit suicide, but I never changed my behavior. A little love was also there, because my motto is, "If anybody does not do his duty to me why should I leave my duty to him?" In other words, if anybody falls short of his duty why should I fall short of my duty to him! "What I do for you, it is my duty; what you do not do for me, it is your duty." It is also my nature that if anybody obliges me an inch, I try to repay it. But what-so-ever I may do in return, the obligation remains the same.
I am sorry to write that Nature's curse fell upon him and nobody is left in his family. After his death I supported his son who was also an employee of the Judge's Court, but he also died. People do so many awkward things in their short tenure of life without minding the club of justice from God. My officers wrote the following remarks in my Character Roll:
- "I was satisfied with his work.
- He is a quiet soul, and good at his work." (2nd Sept. 1929) "He is efficient and hard working, and has given me full satisfaction with his work. He has an enviable reputation for strict honesty." (5th Jan. 1949)
- "As Munsarim his work has been thoroughly satisfactory. He is a careful and hard working official, and is generally known to be scrupulously honest." (6th July 1949)
- "Efficient and unassuming; reputed to be scrupulously honest."
- "He believes in leading a pious life and adheres to that principal in his official life also." (3rd July 953)
- "An unassuming and quiet worker with a very good reputation for leading a saintly life." (17th Jan. 1955)
- "He leads a very saintly life and adheres to his high principals in his day-to-day affairs, and is very conscious of his duties as a Record Keeper. He had effective control of the Record room and I was very much satisfied with his work." (21st Feb. 1955)
- On retirement: "He earned an enviable reputation for honesty and disciplined life; worked assiduously but in an unassuming manner and can, I think, serve as a model for the ministerial staff which is the poorer for his retirement". I also got a letter of honor from Shri A. G. Khare, President, Prantiya Bharat Sevak Samaj.
