Tolerance: The Most Important Spiritual Quality

(Excerpts from Talks and Writings of Chariji and Babuji)

"So in that spirit, brothers and sisters, let us [live] together harmoniously, lovingly, accepting each other as they are. It is their business to change and not your business to change them. You have each one an inherent right, an inherent ability, an inherent responsibility to change yourself. That right is not conferred upon you to change anybody else. They have their liberty to change or not change that they desire, that is their destiny, that is their future. You can help, but you cannot change. The more you are tolerant, the more you accept people as they are, you will find it easier that they change. The more you try to impose change on them, you will find that you will not change, they will also not change."

"So, we have to be what we have to be irrespective of what others are. It is no use being patient with good people and then becoming impatient with impatient people. Or honest with the honest people and dishonest with dishonest people . . .

So this constancy of behavior, of attitude to the external world, we must not be like the light of the candle which is blown out by every puff of breeze. . .

So this is the secret of spiritual life, that we must be strong because we must be strong. Nothing to do with others. Not to expect anything from others. Which only means, I must expect the best from myself. Because that is the only way to become the best. And we should use such opportunities as a testing stone for ourselves. And use it to correct ourselves. Use it for our self-development. . .

So we must use these episodes, these situations as a mirror for ourselves and correct ourselves. Then this grand possibility comes that every time somebody is angry, you become more tolerant. Every time somebody is rude you become stronger in your own faith about yourself. And we must be able to take abuse with a smile, all the time praying, 'Master, please correct them, help them, because they are my brothers and sisters and in some way if they are like that, I will be a little less than I should be."

As people actively in the spiritual life, we have to develop toleration and tolerance of the highest limits and we must seek to understand the fundamental reasons and causes for ways of existence such as they are wherever they be. It is only by such deep understanding resulting out of penetrating and sympathetic observation that a cure also arises. This is made impossible if we are, in any way, repelled by systems and modes of life divergent from our own.

Please, therefore, try to cultivate a sympathetic understanding towards whatever you see and try to absorb the emotional life of the people into whose environment you have been put, so that your understanding of the situation will become correct and penetrating, which may ultimately enable you to help them to such extent as is permitted.

Criticism divorced from an ability to help is worthless criticism and only ruins the mentality of the one who criticizes. I am not indulging in criticism myself when I advise you in this way, but I believe that every one of us who has come under the Divine touch of our Master has a part to play in the evolutionary drama that is now being staged with or without our consciousness and, therefore, we must strive to fulfill our destiny at the highest level that is now made possible by our Master's grace. All other functions are secondary to this."

Tolerance must be extended to all facets of one's life. After many years of close personal association with my Master, I have come to the conclusion that tolerance is perhaps the most important spiritual quality as it seems to embrace, and emanate out of itself, the other virtues such as understanding, charity, and even love itself. I have often been told that love begets tolerance but, perhaps, the reverse that tolerance begets love, is true. It is an accepted psychological axiom that only those who have hatred for themselves in their hearts project the hatred on the world. Such hatred is self-hatred, and comes out of an inability to accept one's own qualities. In the widest understanding of the word, tolerance implies that everything has a place in the universal hierarchy, and it is the understanding of this basic truth of creation that tolerance reveals. Tolerance thus reveals the correct perspective in the universal scheme of things. We have been taught that good and evil co-exist, that they are nothing but different facets of the same reality. So too have we been taught to regard vice and virtue and all the other opposites of existence. Where one exists, the other must exist. There is no choice. Who, then, are we to revile at the negative (as we label them) manifestations? We are often haunted by the apparent antithesis in persons' characters - a rich man being misery; an honest man indulging in secret thievery; a virtuous person having a hidden, seamy side to his existence; a religious person with a dark and unsavoury personal life. All this perturbs us and, what is worse, frustrates us in our search for knowledge and understanding. Tolerance can give us that quantum of time which will permit us to probe below the surface and see the underlying truth. This is a minimum benefit that tolerance confers - time to study and understand things. And inevitably when the externals are ignored and we penetrate deeper, then understanding, true understanding, comes and we find that persons are other than what they appear to be. If we are earnest in our endeavour and zealous in our pursuit, a time will surely come when we can see the saint inside the sinner! This, to my Master, is a permanent vision. He sees nothing but the true Reality within.

"So, coming back to tolerance, we see and understand how it is not merely one of the virtues, but is the cardinal virtue; and not merely this, it is the perception of the truth of creation that all men are created equal in God's vision, and we do nothing but destroy the basic value of such creation when we seek to classify and divide what has been created as one. So tolerance is conforming to God's intent and design, and such conformity enables us to swim in the same direction as the current, thus making our journey not only trouble-free but doubly fast. In this lies the possibility of a speedy evolution to our goal within this life itself.

It so happened that a clerk, on account of caste prejudice, teased me so much that I made up my mind to resign service. I had been appointed to this post for the first time, and did not know the work. He did not help me at all; instead, he always spoke ill of me to the Munsarim of the Munsif's Court. The result was that I went to the Munsif and told him all the facts including my intention to resign from service.

Mr. Maharaja Bahadur, the Munsif, said, "As long as I am here you must not resign. I will teach you the work, because I will not get such an honest man." And he did so. When I was encouraged by him I began to study the Acts and Regulations, and learnt some other work also. Honesty pays in the end; and dishonesty only in the beginning, if at all!

In a month's time, with hard work, I was quite prepared to do the work allotted to me nicely. I had also told the difficulties to my father and said to him, "I want to resign from this post and if you will not allow it I will commit suicide." My father replied, "Leave the service immediately." But I continued in the service as I was encouraged to by my officer. I had no enmity with that man and never changed my behaviour towards him. In other words, I behaved with a little love also with him. People call me simple. I think they are right in so calling me. The incident developed to such an extent that I was ready to commit suicide, but I never changed my behaviour. A little love was also there, because my motto is, "If anybody does not do his duty to me, why should I leave my duty to him?" In other words, if anybody falls short of his duty why should I fall short of my duty to him! What I do for you, it is my duty; what you do not do for me, it is your duty. It is also my nature that if anybody obliges me an inch, I try to repay it. But whatsoever I may do in return, the obligation remains the same.

I am sorry to write that Nature's curse fell upon him and nobody is left in his family. After his death I supported his son who was also an employee of the Judge's Court, but he also died. People do so many awkward things in their short tenure of life without minding the club of justice from God.